I can’t stand Christians

It’s been about 7 months since I last did anything “Christian”, and coincidentally today I bumped into my pastor and his family at the Volkswagen dealership.

The first thing he said to me was that some speaker from England is coming to our service to preach and that apparently there is now a youth band leading worship at the service.

For crying out loud, this is exactly why I have distanced myself from Christians.

Now I understand why people I tried inviting to church before never came.

Made me sick from the stomach.

I am a twentysomething, and I’m not about to waste more of my precious time being close-minded inside those 4 walls they call church.

I miss blogging

I miss blogging regularly.

But I’m tired of girls, tired of The Church, and tired of most things generally.

So I don’t really have anything to blog about.

As of now I’m married to work.  I love being able to work hard at something and get recognized for it.

It’s been a while

It’s been ages since I last blogged.

There are several reasons.

One: because of the Twitter craze.  Why blog when everything is written about by someone else already?

Two: because no one else blogs anymore.

Three: there isn’t really a girl that I like right now.

Four: in the middle of big changes in my life.

So on and so forth.

But it’s still fun to blog from time to time.  Leave me a comment if you read this, just so I know that there are still people out there.

Soccer, Not Football

So it’s finally hit me this week: I am not English.

It all began last week, the week of March 16th, 2009 – one of the most memorable weeks for soccer in the Cascadia.

• Vancouver, a city with 30 years of history in soccer, officially wins one of the two 2011 MLS expansion spots
• Seattle Sounders hosts their inaugural MLS home opener in front of a 32,000-strong crowd
• Portland announced as the other winner for the 2011 expansion

I was fortunate enough to have taken part in two of these historic events, namely the celebration party in Vancouver on Wednesday night, followed by the Seattle Sounders’ opener on Thursday.

To make a long story short, the Sounders’ opener, while goosebump-inducing in countless ways (can you really ask for more than a 3-0 win on your first night out in the MLS?), remained a largely “North American affair”, much to my disappointment.

What do I mean by that?

Think organic vs. engineered.

You see, the main reason behind why I love the beautiful game, soccer -  or football, as the rest of the world calls it – is because of its tribal nature. It’s all about the club you support.  The more adversity the club faces, the more it means to the true supporters to stand behind her against the rest of the world.  The true supporters know that only the club stands the test of time: players and coaches and trophies come and go, but the club you support will remain timeless.

You don’t cease to be a Vancouver Whitecap after the whistle is blown in 90 minutes.  It runs in your blood.

It’s for these reasons that you see this sort of thing around the world:

*Note the ladies taking their tops off around the 50 second mark.  Those Brazilians……Anyways.

Yet, as North Americans, most of us are accustomed to having to be entertained, having to be fed.  We are used to sitting on our fat asses at home in front of our HDTVs.  In fact, we are so used to sitting in front of the TV that for most “fans”, going to the game and watching it on TV are actually interchangeable.  And even when we do actually attend professional sporting events, most of what we get is merely artificial, engineered support. You often see the big LCD screens in the stadiums displaying messages like “CLAP YOUR HANDS”, or “STAND UP”, or “SCARVES UP”.  You often hear loud rock music played over the PA every time play stops, as if to distract you from the silence that fills the stadium.  You see mascots telling you how to chant and how to react, and if you can string 3 words together (eg. “GO CANUCKS GO!”, “LET’S GO CANUCKS, LET’S GO!”), you are considered a hardcore fan.  And then you see cheerleaders jumping around even though they have absolutely no place on the field whatsoever.

This was the case in Seattle.  And so, a debate in my head arose.  “Was that really a good night out?  Or was it just the same old North American crap masked by all the fireworks and brass band and a bunch of bandwagoners?”  Afterall, some claim the Sounders managed to fill the stadium only because their city has just lost their NBA franchise, the Seattle Sonics.

And sadly, as a natural reaction – I think overreaction is a better description – to the disaster that North American sports have become, soccer fans in North America have decided to try to emulate their counterparts over in Europe, especially in England.  We start calling soccer “football”, start yelling around English phrases like “Shut up you twat”, or “Aye you’re a right bloody wanker like”, while raising up our scarves and singing English chants.  And guess what?  A little while later, you can’t help but notice that we’ve just gone one full circle and ended up exactly where we started – engineered support that is not true of who we really are.

So it is at this point that I stand.  Right here, right now.  This very moment.

Who are we, really?

Can I feel comfortable in my own skin as a Vancouverite and not end up as either i) a boring fickle fan like the Canucks lot, or ii) an Englishman wannabe?

Can I come to accept that while Seattle got it wrong on their big night out, at least Toronto FC got it spot on 2 years ago and that hopefully the Whitecaps will get it spot on as well come 2011?

Can we relive the day of the 100,000+ parade in downtown Vancouver in 1979, when we won the NASL Soccer Bowl?

Yes, I think I can.  In fact, I am very hopeful.

Those of you from the east coast might have read about this, but TFC just got an away support of about 2,000 fans in their game against Columbus Crew down in Columbus today.  That’s a 7 hour trip, and I’m not even counting the return trip.  They got a section all to themselves at Columbus’s ground.  Isn’t that amazing?

You have probably met people who moved from coast to coast because of the person they love, or their family, or their career.

For me, I think I have just found my reason to stay in Vancouver.

This is my home.

Always one album behind

I am realizing that I am always one album (or more) behind, even if it’s some of my favourite bands.

Death Cab: still stuck on Plans, have given Narrow Stairs maybe 3-4 times run through only.

Radiohead: stuck on every album before In Rainbows, basically.

Coldplay: have pretty much never gone through that seemingly crap new album.

The Killers: same story, just listened to some of the singles on that new album.

Franz Ferdinand: still stuck on their debut album, actually.

U2: have yet to get my hands on their latest album, for the fear that it sucks (it probably does?).

Bright Eyes: still stuck on I’m Wide Awake It’s Morning, because I still think it has some of the best written songs in the past decade!

Manic Street Preachers: stuck in the 90’s when it comes to their music.

The Verve: can any new album live up to Urban Hymns?  Seriously?

And I could probably go on and on……

What a day it is for Vancouver

I think this article by one of the Southsiders sums it up:

From Friends of Soccer:

http://friendsofsoccer.blogspot.com/

In 1979, a simple soccer team and a famous sportscaster’s slip of the tongue, brought Vancouver together like never before. In the buildup to ABC’s coverage of the ‘79 NASL Soccer Bowl, the legendary Jim McKay innocently referred to Vancouver as a “deserted village”. When the Whitecaps returned home as Champions of the North American Soccer League, over a hundred thousand Vancouverites took to the streets in joy and made the word “Villager” a badge of honour. Vancouver had never celebrated anything with such unity and passion before. Nor has it since.

March 18, 2009 is a great day in history for both soccer and our city. Today’s announcement that the Vancouver Whitecaps will become a member of Major League Soccer in 2011 is the fantastic result of almost seven years of hard work and vision by Greg Kerfoot, Bob Lenarduzzi, Rachel Lewis and the entire Whitecaps organization. The B.C. soccer community and the citizens of Vancouver owe them a great debt of gratitude and heartfelt congratulations for their achievement.

More than ever before, soccer has become the international language of the world, and Vancouver can now reclaim its top tier place in the game’s global community. Famous soccer clubs from the great cities of the world will once again make their way to Vancouver on a regular basis, and the Whitecaps name will become synonomous with our city throughout the globe. The soccer culture that has always existed in Vancouver & B.C. will flourish like never before, and our children will be able to grow up knowing that the soccer they play is much more than a “foreign” game.

The news that Vancouver is once again back at the top level of North American soccer will also bring tremendous benefits to our city for generations to come. The culture of traveling support that exists in MLS will fill thousands of hotel rooms, and bring new jobs and millions of dollars into our local economy at a time when we need it most. The tens of thousands of new patrons that will descend into the City Centre will help relieve some of the pressures felt by small businesses in Downtown, Chinatown, and Gastown. Vancouver can expect to reap the economic benefits of MLS for decades to come.

But more important is soccer’s ability to unite people from all different walks of life. Today, the Whitecaps are giving Vancouver one of its first truly multicultural institutions that’s inclusive, accessible and comfortable for people of all cultures, races and backgrounds. It’s a fine legacy for an organization that has given so much of its time, effort and resources to communities throughout B.C. & Western Canada.

Soccer in Vancouver, B.C. and all of Canada is stronger today than it was yesterday. But it is still a work in progress. For Canada to continue its progress, we need more solid clubs. We need fewer petty territorial squabbles. We need to accept a soccer culture that builds professional excellence. And we need real soccer infrastructure in our country, such as stadiums.

But today is for celebrating the deserved achievements of the Vancouver Whitecaps. It’s a chance to look back on all of the good a simple soccer club has done for this city over almost 35 years. And it’s a dare to dream about what might be possible in the years ahead.

Today, Vancouver is a “Village” once again.

Yours in Sport,
Bill Currie
Friends of Soccer

Olympics and Following the will of God

Tonight, the good o’ Irishman at my church preached on what it means to follow the will of God.  It was a very honest sermon, where he went as far as telling us that, in fact, he did not want to be at our church.  But because he knows clearly that it was by the will of God that he came here, he absolutely loves every moment of it.

A few moments afterwards, our senior pastor got up to do the announcements and mentioned that a good number of churches in Richmond, including the white churches, are going on a prayer walk at the Richmond Olympics Oval this Saturday to intercede for our city and for the upcoming sporting event.

At first I was quite “meh” about it.  I mean, I don’t give a toss about the Olympics, in fact I want to piss all over it, and going to a prayer walk on an early Saturday morning is about the last thing I want to do these days.

But my friend, who is filled with the Spirit, brought to me the conviction that I have been consciously avoiding for far too long.

“I just want to go see if there are any pretty girls there”, he said.

You know the feeling you get when you know clearly that God is calling you to do something worthy?  Something that glorifies His name?  Something that brings a wee little tear to your eye?

I don’t give a toss about the Olympics, I don’t feel like going to a prayer walk, but I do care so very much about following the will of God, and seizing every opportunity to meet some nice, devout Christian girls is a big part of that.

Oh, I am SO going to this prayer meeting!

Pilgrimage

My year begins a fortnight from today, in the Emerald city.

I honestly can’t wait!

Here are some of the more important fixtures that I will be attending for sure:

Thu 03/19 – Seattle Sounders FC vs. New York Red Bulls – (the debut of our Cascadian friend/foe in the MLS)

Sat 04/04 – Colchester United vs. Leeds United – (tickets yet to be acquired, chances not looking good)

Sat 04/11 – Tottenham Hotspurs vs. West Ham United

Sat 04/25 – Vancouver Whitecaps vs. Portland Timbers

Sat 05/30 – Portland Timbers vs. Vancouver Whitecaps

Tue 06/02 – Vancouver Whitecaps vs. Toronto FC

Sun 06/07 – Vancouver Whitecaps vs. Montreal Impact

Baby

One day I’ll grow up, be a beautiful woman.

One day I’ll grow up, be a beautiful girl.

For today I’m a child.

For today I’m a boy.

Beautiful song. Beautiful voice.

I love you too, Antony Hegarty, my sweet baby.

Honestly he’s like my favourite transvestite in the whole wide world right now (’cause he’s like the only one I know).

More to say about the concert and the night of, stay tuned!

I searched for perfection

Before I get into the nitty gritty stuff, this past week I had done 3 times what I had previously only done once ever in my lifetime: to go to the cinema for a motion picture by myself.

The first time happened in Halifax, when I felt so disgusted by the monotony of my job that I decided to call in sick to hangout by myself. It was “The Transformers” that I watched, what a mistake that was.

This week though, I watched “The Reader”, “Slumdog Millionaire”, and “Revolutionary Road”. The weirdest thing was that I literally watched “The Reader” in an empty theater. All by myself, as if I owned the place. It was a late Monday night showing though.

In fact during those 3 trips to the cinema, and while I was there, I was very scared that I would get spotted by someone I know. I purposely picked theaters that are slightly less popular, so I could do my best to avoid such a scary outcome. And what all that built up to was me finally deciding that I wanted a weekend where I got to spend all to myself, which is somewhat of a rare thing since I am used to having all these responsibilities penciled in on my Saturdays and Sundays.

So on Saturday morning, I basically ditched my friend last minute after agreeing a week ago that I would go to Seattle with him and his friends, and then I got into my car and drove up to a place I had always wanted to go visit: Burnaby Mountain Park.

The view indeed was beautiful. There was still snow on the drive up. I was anticipating perfection.

Instead, I was left with bitter disappointment.

Don’t get me wrong, like I said, the view was indeed gorgeous. The weather was just right. In fact there was even a blonde girl there, just standing there smoking. But remember, I was looking for perfection! And it wasn’t to be found!

I walked around hectically, hoping to find that perfect spot where I could sit down and enjoy the toasted sandwich I had bought from Subway while looking out to a beautiful view. But every spot I went, either the view was blocked by a tree or some other sort of obscure object, or there were families of immigrants who kept chatting away. Especially the annoying kids.

And so by the time I finally settled down on a bench, my sandwich was already cold.

Perfection was nowhere to be found.

As I sulked in my disappointment, I drove down slowly – only to spot a footy game happening at Kensington Park. The kids were about high school age. I pulled over, got out of the car, and joined the handful of parents who were there cheering for their kids.

God is great, isn’t He?

There I was, watching as the kids played out an exciting end to end game, realizing that perfection is found only in God – and football, the Beautiful Game, is where God manifests Himself here on earth.

And that is the reason why football is now my religion.