It might be because I just finished all 3 seasons of one of the funniest TV shows – Arrested Development – a show about a dysfunctional family. Or it might be because I am listening to the Great Lake Swimmers – one of the most depressing bands to listen to.
But I have been thinking…
Since young, we were all taught that the most important thing is our family. Family comes first. If everything should fail, your family will still always be around for you.
But then you look around… and you find that all the crazy people in this world are that crazy because of their upbringing. That serial killer you see in the news is probably that way because he got beaten up by his dad more times than he has had hot meals.
That 4 year old kid at the mall who says the F word is probably that way because of his mom who swears every other sentence, you thought.
I look back and realize that the most harsh conversations I have ever had were all with my family.
So how does this all work?
I think it’s definitely a double-edged sword.
The joy your family brings cannot be brought on by anything else. I suppose I’ll just have to cling onto that.
I loved your post on “Family”. Every family has a relative or two that’s a bit off kilter. Right when you think your family has more than it’s share of ‘off kilter’ folks, you meet someone else who’s family makes yours look perfectly fine.
I’d lived outside the USA for almost 3 decades…missing my family was almost more than I could bear at times. This past Christmas, we were all together (brother, sisters, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, friends) My brother, Rob, brought up how nice it was to have everyone together all at the same time and in the same place. Then he began talking about “our family has some oddballs”.
I should have kept my mouth shut…because I said, “Who do you think is an oddball?” He looked at me as if I were from Mars! He said, “You. No one in their right mind would leave the USA for so long and come back and not even know how to use a cell phone.” Everyone laughed (except me).
However, it all worked out well. That was what they got me for Christmas….a cell phone…and they even are paying for it for one year! I figure by the time the year is up…I’ll no longer be the “oddball”.
Keep writing!
Michelle
http://michelle2005.wordpress.com
Huh.
My mom taught that the most important thing in life is “money and good health”
Now that I think about it, I never knew what my dad thought about that
But I certainly won’t be teaching that to my kids
it think the teaching of the importance of family is a cultural thing…. i can be really racist sometimes….
yeah, family are usually around for your worst moments
RE: Tabitha
It is definitely a cultural thing, but by no means a Chinese only thing. Just watch The Godfather
Us WordPress projectiles really need to blog more. This is pretty sad. Also, Johnson needs to get on WordPress.
(actually, you do a pretty good job of blogging semi-regularly)
Also, remembering things like “what have I always told you? Family comes first” and the Gob “entrance music” makes me laugh inside. And then outside.
*Duhn duhn Duhn duhnnn…. Duh duh Duhn duhn duhn!*
Oh, and to try and simplify things, I think God comes first and people come second. People come before yourself because of God comes first and He told you to care about them ahead of yourself. Family are people, so you should care about them ahead of your own interests. Do family outrank strangers, though? that’s the real question…
I’d say “yes”, in most circumstances. 1) Because they’re closer in proximity to you, you’re usually in the best position to help them and you are one of the closest involved with them so primary responsibility is yours. For example, someone who is walking past a fire has a greater responsibility or ability to help (usually) than someone a kilometer away who sees the same blaze.
2) The Bible (Old and New Testament) keeps putting this emphasis on God’s people – your spiritual family. Like, for example, the Israelites were very inward focussed from what I can tell of God’s instructions to them on how to treat people. The New Testament always talks about taking care of the widows in their own (faith) community. Of course I’m ignoring all the stuff in the Bible about helping strangers and enemies, but my point is that God really emphasizes to us to love our brothers and sisters in Christ. That’s been sticking out to me a lot, recently. Galatians 6:10 is case in point (do good to everyone, especially to those of the household of faith). In a sense, family comes first. I think God tells us that because of #1 and #3 (I’ll explain #3 right now).
3) Family is usually emotionally connected to you more than strangers. I’m not sure why that means we should help them more than the average stranger you (don’t) know, but perhaps one reason is that you care a lot more about them, and maybe that makes you more effective in helping them. And/or it affects your own emotional/mental health.
Ok, I’m stopping typing now.
[...] feel like reading a bit about family and whether “family comes first”, take a visit: Ricky’s post (my comment is down at [...]
Sorry for the spam, Ricky. I just had a thought, though. I should really emphasize that part of #1 is that I think we have a God-given responsibility to care for family members because we are in that family. It’s about roles and the responsibility that comes with a particular role (e.g. like being a Canadian, for example).
I think you are right Paulman but the intent of my post is not what you have been talking about here.
My point is basically that family ought to be FOR you, but because we are such selfish, imperfect beings, family is more often than not AGAINST you.
And I find that strange, since we were always taught the importance of family, when it in fact is a double-edged sword.