Solution!

I think I might just have discovered the solution to my lifelong question of why I am always a bit indifferent to Hong Kong while I am here, but feel right at home and love the place when I am actually there.

It’s because of one very simple factor: I walk around in Hong Kong; I drive around in Vancouver.

Which also helps to explain why I have such fond memories of Halifax, but not so much of Vancouver.

Anyways, this epiphany occurred around 9PM tonight as I took a little stroll with my grandma after dinner, just around the neighborhood.

When you actually walk on your feet, you notice all sorts of things you don’t otherwise notice. The color of that new house; the nice car your neighbors drive; this pretty green lawn that orange house has, etc.

When you actually walk on your feet, you get much more “alone time” to think, especially thinking in blogmode. And when you take public transit, you get to observe a lot of people whom you’d otherwise just ignore.

What’s more, as me and my grandma were walking, this jogger jogged by – turns out she is a female friend of mine from high school who happens to live about a 3 minute walk away from my place.

My grandma was like “it’s rare to see such a decent looking girl” (I paraphrase).

LOL.

Attitudes and Feelings: Both desirable and sometimes secretive

‘It surely is hot here in Hong Kong’ was the first thought that came to mind when I first got off the plane. But then again, for me to travel thousands of miles closer to the equator and then complain about the heat would be like taking off my pants in the middle of a worship service and complaining to the clergy that I felt exposed at church.

Hong Kong is where my family is. Hong Kong is also the place where I have access to many luxuries. My aunt’s Lexus seals out so much roadside noise. My mom’s plasma TV and her surround sound system gives such a better presentation of the same Xbox games I have back home. My brother gets me custard pudding of top class quality for some very reasonable price.

I got asked a few questions by my uncle, who’s the businessman of the family. He asked me what my degree is. He asked me whether I can speak Mandarin fluently. He asked me what kind of research or industry I want to go into. He asked me what I want to do with my life.

I felt uneasy. I felt like I had to makeup answers. To be frank, if there is anything I am passionate about, it probably isn’t what I studied during my undergrad years. It probably has more to do with music and football and theology. But I didn’t think I would sound very smart if I told him that.

But if I truly didn’t care about my studies that I shouldn’t have felt uneasy. I could’ve just said I don’t give a crap what I do. But I do care. I do care that perhaps I could have a successful career like my uncle and my cousins. Herein lies the struggle: if there was ever a reason why I would consider living in Hong Kong for good, it’d be because of family…but perhaps even more importantly, it would be the Chinese ingrained hand-in-hand relationship between a successful career and real manhood.

I might feel lesser of a man if I didn’t come to Hong Kong to have a “real” career.

Anyways, without family and without any really really close friends in Vancouver, I have to say that there are always certain things that I miss here in Hong Kong. This career thing isn’t though. I’d be happy working at McD’s if that’s where God points my heart to.

I just don’t think this is the right environment to raise kids.