Man of principles

Sometimes I think about my behavior and wonder just how much a people-pleaser I really am.

But upon further introspection, I think these behaviors actually go far to show that I am a man of decency, a man of principles.

Let me give you an example:

There are two bus stops that are close to where I live.  One is basically right outside of my neighborhood, the other at the major intersection about 200-300 meters further out.

Now, because the bus stop that is farther away is at a major intersection, usually you’d get people wanting to get off there.  And my principle in this situation is this: if I were the bus driver, I think I would be quite annoyed if I had to stop at the first bus stop (the major intersection), start moving again, and have to stop again in just about 10 seconds later.

And so, in keeping with the whole Jesus thing (do unto others as they unto you etc.), I just get off at the first stop 90% of the time.

If it’s raining really hard or snowing or something like that then I’d just bug the driver that little bit more and get off at my actual stop.

Another example:

I’ve always believed that only really really fat people or really really lazy people (most of the time the same people) would use the elevator to get up to the second floor.

Take the stairs for crying out loud!

And so, because my workplace is on the second floor, and because I don’t want to have to refer to myself as really fat and really lazy, I have always been taking the stairs.

Third example:

If you know me you’d know about me and umbrellas.  I just don’t touch them.  I have one in the trunk of my car just in case my grandma is with me and it’s pouring. But I would rather get sick or drown or die than to have to use an umbrella.

Just imagine if the Nazi’s came into your house and demanded that you either killed your neighbor or they’d kill you……imagine how much more likely you would give into their demands if you weren’t even able to simply stick to a simple principle: don’t ever use umbrellas!  Just imagine.

And so, yeah, I think you could look at these examples and conclude that I am really just a people-pleaser, always caring about what others would think of me.

Or you could be real biblical and think about manhood and think about how much of a good man I am.

Kid

Lately I have been told time and time again by different people that I am really still a kid.

Not in the put down kind of way, mind you, but in the genuine, friendly kind of way.

And I think to a large extent I agree.

I get excited about the littlest of things (like making eye contact with the girl); I sweat over the smallest of things (quite literally); I don’t always see the big picture.

I open up really easily; I smile lots.

I got really happy when a customer told me I am a good barista.  That I made him a good Latte.

There are a lot of things that I have yet to experience.

Yet, to be frank, I am quite happy the way I am.

But don’t get me wrong.

I am not indulging in what the world currently seems to freely accept – that boys can just remain boys.

I think I have the right theology.  I think God has brought me enough conviction over the years to teach me what being a man after His own heart ought to be like.  I think I have grown quite a bit, and that I am still growing.

Sometimes I wonder if I really have the wrong motive.  Sometimes I wonder if I am just trying to serve harder, so that I will grow faster, which means God will find me that wife sooner.

But on second thought that can’t be true.

Afterall, finding one’s wife is not the ends.  It’s a MINISTRY. It’d be the start of something even tougher.

I love this passage, what a challenge it ought to be:

Ephesians 5

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

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I was quite upset this Saturday.  My friend and I were talking to this dude.  This dude who’s father to 2 kids.  And I mean one of his kids is like 10 years old, so this dude is by no means a new father.

Yet, when we got into a conversation about parenting, the dude sounded as clueless about it as my friend and I were.

It just worries me.  In fact, it angers me.  Why does this Christian culture we live in today breed so many men (or should I call us/them boys?) who would read up on the new iPhone for hours, yet give no thoughts to what being a husbands really means……what being a father really means?

What’s going on!

Happy Decisions

Yesterday was a crazy day. 

I talked to Eric Thurston from the Artizo group at St. John’s Shaughnessy.  Whether directly or indirectly, he basically challenged me to consider going into full-time ministry.  That was some real conviction there.  And it definitely was not a one-off kinda thing.  My conversation with this musician guy a couple of weeks ago pretty much challenged me similarly.  Decisions, decisions.  I think I am going to fast for 40 days about this.  With my accountability buddy.

I also did something that I think God, Mark Driscoll, and my “Shalomer” Tabitha would be proud of (I think she is, as I just e-mailed her)…and that is to be a man and do the right thing and take initiative! 

All the sitting on my bum asking “what if’s” just isn’t cool. 

Thanks to all the friends who spent the time to pray for me and listen to me =).  Honestly, it was amazing.  It was as if 50 pounds just got lifted off my chest.

And as a result of all this……I have decided that I am going to grow up and stop with the “finding a wife who’s blonde and has blue eyes and has a British accent” thing.  Because quite honestly, I have discovered that there are so many more awesomer things about that special one that go beyond that crap.

 10 A wife of noble character who can find?
       She is worth far more than rubies.

25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
       she can laugh at the days to come.

 26 She speaks with wisdom,
       and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

 27 She watches over the affairs of her household
       and does not eat the bread of idleness.

 28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
       her husband also, and he praises her:

 29 “Many women do noble things,
       but you surpass them all.”

 30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
       but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

Attitudes and Feelings: Both desirable and sometimes secretive

‘It surely is hot here in Hong Kong’ was the first thought that came to mind when I first got off the plane. But then again, for me to travel thousands of miles closer to the equator and then complain about the heat would be like taking off my pants in the middle of a worship service and complaining to the clergy that I felt exposed at church.

Hong Kong is where my family is. Hong Kong is also the place where I have access to many luxuries. My aunt’s Lexus seals out so much roadside noise. My mom’s plasma TV and her surround sound system gives such a better presentation of the same Xbox games I have back home. My brother gets me custard pudding of top class quality for some very reasonable price.

I got asked a few questions by my uncle, who’s the businessman of the family. He asked me what my degree is. He asked me whether I can speak Mandarin fluently. He asked me what kind of research or industry I want to go into. He asked me what I want to do with my life.

I felt uneasy. I felt like I had to makeup answers. To be frank, if there is anything I am passionate about, it probably isn’t what I studied during my undergrad years. It probably has more to do with music and football and theology. But I didn’t think I would sound very smart if I told him that.

But if I truly didn’t care about my studies that I shouldn’t have felt uneasy. I could’ve just said I don’t give a crap what I do. But I do care. I do care that perhaps I could have a successful career like my uncle and my cousins. Herein lies the struggle: if there was ever a reason why I would consider living in Hong Kong for good, it’d be because of family…but perhaps even more importantly, it would be the Chinese ingrained hand-in-hand relationship between a successful career and real manhood.

I might feel lesser of a man if I didn’t come to Hong Kong to have a “real” career.

Anyways, without family and without any really really close friends in Vancouver, I have to say that there are always certain things that I miss here in Hong Kong. This career thing isn’t though. I’d be happy working at McD’s if that’s where God points my heart to.

I just don’t think this is the right environment to raise kids.

Heading straight into a middle class reckoning?

Well, welcome to my new blog!

What better way to kickstart it all than by beginning with the pics from today’s BRL (Blogger Reunion Luncheon):

Steph, Myself, and Paulman

Well, after all these months of stalking each others’ blogs, we finally got to sit down to talk about Hillsong United, C4C, and all things related to the death and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ. It was very good to have conversations that were edifying. Yes, indeed. But on my way home, I couldn’t help but ponder upon the question that has been bugging me for the past few weeks (ever since I started telling people that I am graduating). This is indeed a very sensitive time in my life. This is indeed a question that deserves the bugginess. It ought to bug me for the rest of my life, really:

“What are you going to be doing after you graduate?”

Well, here’s what I have been doing since the exam period started (note: not ended):

• Watched every episode of “The Office” (US Version), along with a few movies here and there
• Videogames
• Sleep, eat, and run
• Church
• Listening to random bands
• Going on the odd scenic drive around pretty Vancouver
• Applying for random jobs online

You see, if life carried on like this, I can safely say that I will most certainly become a 21st century North American middle class adult-lescent “Christian”. In fact, that might just become what I desire for my life – to live a life that is comfortable and self-serving. Find some random job. Live for the weekend.

Isn’t it a sin though – to want to remain middle class and comfortable? I mean it is most definitely fine to be middle class and comfortable, but to confuse it from being the means to actually the ends?

But this must all sound very cliche. There must have been millions of people – especially the millions who are involved in the financial advising business nowadays – who have already said things like “I don’t want to sit in an office from 9-5; I want to do something exciting, something I love, like helping people”. I am sure we have all heard it all. So, if I don’t want to sound cliche like them, shouldn’t I just be realistic and accept that life isn’t going to be exciting like they tell you in storybooks, but that I should consider myself lucky to even make it as a middle class North American?

“You should learn to count your blessings”, some might say.

Nevertheless, these are some bible passages that I very luckily read through in the past few weeks:

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Genesis 1:26-28 Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

1Corinthians 9:24-27 Do you not know that in a race all the runners compete, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.

Romans 5:2-5 Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

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Do they bring instant conviction or what? Isn’t it challenging to see what biblical manhood actually looks like?

This all reminds me of one of my “dreams” from a few years ago. I had always hoped that one day I could go to a music school, meet some friends, and start my own band. I had always wanted to figure out a way where I can have a career that ties football, music, cognitive psychology (used to be Physics), and theology together.

But, back down on earth, in the past year or two I have totally given up on playing music, as I have slowly come to accept that I have little talent. I play weekly at church but you don’t need a charismatic to tell you that I am not exactly inspiring as a worship leader.

I am reminded of one of my all-time favourite verses:”Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” I really need to have a checkup on what I delight myself in.

A friend at church asked a very insightful question. She asked, “Are you scared or happy [about your life after graduation]?”

I told her I was excited about my future after school.

But I’m not so sure anymore. I don’t know what I have been abiding myself in of late.

It’s sick.